birthdays~

It’s not just the Octoberfest, It’s my, my dad, my sister, my friends, and lots of people are celebrating their birthdays on the 10th month of the year. It’s rare to find people who are born on the late month of the year. They say they are mostly forgotten, but I say they’re not. In fact, those people are made on the first  month of the year which is January and were born on the 10th month which is October. (pre-matures are exempted ) ) Now how come a parent will forget their child that is made on the first month of the year? New year spirit are still felt on that scene. *sax playing*                                                          LOL enough of the bullshit!

On the 7th was my dad’s birth day. We had a dinner with the family and with my sister’s boyfriend. Look up and the picture is on the left. (my sister’s boyfriend took the picture. Of course that is his job) It’s been a very very long time since we had dinner together. One had work, dad now had a position wherein he is required to spend more of his time with people, one started working and studying, one is studying. I think the last time we had something like this is when I was in grade school. But what happened that night is very memorable night and I look forward on getting that same set up on other occassions. And for my dad who’s now 50, happy birthday pa! kala ko 60 ka na, 50 pa lang pala. )

My sister’s birthday was yesterday. I dun have pictures of it because I always spend the day sleeping so I missed out a lot during daytime. I had a Western body clock and I live here in Novaliches. Oh anyway, my sister is now 23 I think. Yeah! Because we had a two-year age difference. Whatever it is that she had in her goals in life, I’m confident enough she’ll make it. Happy birthday ate!

And for the picture in the right, that is 2 days  before my birthday. I had friends with me. We’re four and we had chocolate cake and a chocolate moose (how do you spell that again? Moooooseee!) It’s not planned. It’s just we’re in there, my birthday is nearing, and isay, the girl on the left, is also celebrating her birthday on the 24th, and the cakes inside red ribbon was inviting, there.. we landed on their table and had us ordered cakes. tae wala ako sa picture! It was great! I enjoyed the night and it was real fun. As usual, I always had fun. Squeezing out every fun I can get. Kahit delubyo pa nangyayari masaya parin para saken nyahahahah

The picture on the middle is a day before my birthday. Not planned as usual! But there, we ate at some restaurant with friends. It was fun! With them, I can be as childish as I could be. Those are my ate and we can act as pabigat as we can hahaha! But this time, It’s my turn to treat them for my birthday. I enjoyed their company as always. And hey! I expect myself to be invited on your birthdays! If not, just expect me to be there!:))

fun fun fun! Once thing that is not happy is my ATM. She needs to be nourished again. Anyway 30th is fast approaching, and 2nd sem as well. Ubos din pala sa tuition~

best friend

I personally don’t believe on having a bestfriend of the opposite sex. When a guy friend introduce me to someone and claim her bestfriend, my intrapersonal thinking says it’s another bullshit. For me, it just can’t happen without some other reason aside friendship or a shoulder-to-lean-on or someone to share emo-ish thoughts and life’s drama. There’s got to be something beyond.

Best Friend, someone (singular) with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship(s). – wiki. (oh wiki. You never fail me)

Ok. So it is singular and whom one share the strongest possible kind of friendship. If we refer to a person of the same sex, then it can be the bestfriend we all know but if we refer to person of the opposite, then I can say the level of friendship differs. It’s not like I am against those things. Because I am thinking my parents started that way. Started as friends turned bestfriends turned lovers. Well, I think that would be good if both parties would end up liking each other. But what if not? If one fell in love and the other did not? It is more likely breaking the bond of friendship and closeness, set a barrier, and turn back to reality of what they should only be, “FRIENDS or NOT FRIENDS” nothing more and nothing less. It’s like the two of you agreed to sit on both ends of the boat because if not,  the boat will sink.

If you intent to love her at the first place, then might as well take the right door for the right reason and don’t take the door being the bestfriend and make your way inside to be her lover. Chances are if you get rejected, you can get out of it and take the other door to be just friends. It is better that way than losing everything.

Well it’s fun thinking of those things. Whatever will it be, anything can happen. It’s just.. Oh well.. I should end this.

helicopters to aircrafts.

I dunno why am I here again. Once I’ve decided to delete this blog but I thought someday it will come in handy. So I left it the way it was, just deleting all footprints of my identity on it. But here I go again. My notes for my experiences piled up. I dunno where to start again. So here are series of events. (in a random order)

I got a part-time job now as an american troubleshooting slave in a call center. I dunno why am I here at the first place. All I know is, I once step foot at toy kingdom and got amused by the remote-controlled aircraft the shop keeper was playing around. If his goal was to make a 3-year-old cry over his mom to buy one, I think the shopkeeper was too good that it took effect on a 20-year old man. So I tried searching for a job for that stupid reason. I got in the job, did training for almost 2 months, and I was earning back then, when I just realized, the idea of having the remote-controlled thing was buried on the bottom pit of the earth.

I paid my tuition fee little by little. Somehow it felt really good paying the tuition fee for myself and not depending my rough ass on my dad. One thing I also realized is that I do have the my money now. My hard earned money that is worth the chaotic sleeping habits that I experienced on the first few weeks. I can date my girlfriend now without having a week to save allowance or beg or lie to anyone to have money for my dates. All seemed to be ok but the problem is, I dun have someone now LOL.

These things I really don’t know. Am I starting to get brainwashed by the flow of society I am into? I set up goals that is the reason I do something for and when I am almost in there, perspectives change. Ok aside from me, who on earth would think of having a kiddie toy a reason to work? Raise your hands!! Then were on the same grade-school level of thinking LOL! All I know for now is I am happy. So much blessed with things that I am experiencing right now. Though I became so much busy that I somehow forgot Him, All of these made me realize;

“If you were blinded by too much happiness that tends you to forget God, sometimes He will give you MORE than you deserve to let you know where all those came from.”

dead end.

sorry to disappoint those readers of mine (if there’s any), but i won’t use this account anymore. But i know who really are my readers and i will surely get back to you. I thought of reviving this blog but it is so polluted, it is better for it to be burried to the darkest pit of hell. If you somehow miss my shitty rants, (even in the tiniest hormones of your hypothalamus) you will surely find me elsewhere. I hate to post goodbye rants because i dun want to sound emo or receive comments for me not to leave this or to catch sympathy because that’s what losers are. Until then..

…

Masaya sana ako na makitang maraming taong nagbabasa ng mga gawa ko ngunit hindi. Eto tagalugin na natin para mas maintindihan ng nakararami. Nakakagulat na magkaroon ako ng madaming mambabasa kahit na may ilang buwan ko nang hindi nabubuksan ang site na ito. Ayaw ko nang ipaliguy ligoy pa, unang na:

• Ang blog account na ito ay ginawa upang ipahayag ang ekspresyon ng aking buhay at mga karanasan. Hindi nito intensyon ang pagmulan ng chismisan at alitan o anumang ikasisira o ikasasama ng isang tao.
• Ito rin ay aking ginawa upang sa aking sariling pamamaraan ay maipahayag ang kabutihan ng Diyos at kung paano siya kumikilos sa aking buhay.
• Maaaring may mga salita dito na hindi kaaya-aya sa paningin ngunit ako’y nakakasiguro na wala akong taong pinagsabihan ng hindi nararapat o kung anumang kanyang ikinasira.

Nagtataka ako kung bakit palagi akong mayroong apat o limang mambabasa sa araw-araw (nalalaman ko ito) kahit bihira ko nalang ito buksan. At ngayon ay maroon itong dalawampu’t isang pagbisita. Oo, alam kong binabasa mo ito. Hindi ko man kayo kilala ngunit nalaman kong sinusubaybayan nyo din ang king mga gawa (nakakatouch naman po.). Lahat ng ito ay dahil sa nauna kong paksang inilathala tungkol sa aking tatay.

Sana matiyaga ka magbasa dahil magle-lecture ako kung ano ang aking pananaw. Tungkol iyon sa aking kapatid na inutusan akong maglaba. Sige maaari mo ulit itong basahin dito kung iyong naisin. Nakalagay din dito na madaming utos ang aking ama sa akin na kung minsan ay hindi ko nais na gawin. Oo, totoo. Ngunit may tanong ako sa iyo kapatid, kung ikaw ay may asawa o pamilya na, hindi ba’t naranasan mo din noon na maging anak? O kung ikaw ay nasa aking edad, (at alam ko naman na kilala mo ako. Tagasubaybay ka nga ng aking gawa hindi ba? salamat.) hindi ba’t alam mo ang mga bagay na nararanasan natin bilang anak? Madaming habilin at mga gawaing bahay na madalas ay ayaw nating gawin. O marahil ay isa ka sa mga mapapalad na ipinanganak ng may pilak na kutcharita sa iyong bibig upang kumuha ng mga tagapagsilbi. Tunay ka ngang mapalad kung gayon.

Iispin ko nalang na tayu ay may parehas na antas ng pamumuhay. Minsan man ay hindi natin ginugusto ang kanilang mga ipinagagawa. Alam ko na ikaw mismo noon ay minsang nagsabi ng hindi maganda sa iyong magulang ng hindi nila nalalaman. Ito ang katotohanan at huwag tayo magbulag bulagan. Ngunit sa kabila ng mga bagay na iyon kapatid, nagsisisi ka ba na ginawa iyon ng magulang mo sa iyo? O nagpapasalamat ka pa dahil ikaw ngayon ay masipag na indibidwal at hindi nasanay maging tamad? Sabi sa kasulatan:

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6 Pasensya na at wala akong tagalog na bible.

Hindi man halata ay nagbabasa din naman ako ng bibliya, hindi dahil sa anak ako ng manggagawa ng simbahan, kundi dahil ito ang aking kagustuhan at kailangan. Lumaki ako sa simbahan at alam kong ikaw din kapatid. Alam ko na kung anu man ang ninanais para sa akin ng aking tatay, ay ito ay para sa aking ikabubuti. NORMAL para sa isang bata na tulad ko ang magkaroon ng mga saloobing tulad ng mga nabanggit sa naunang inilathala.

Ngunit gustu muli kita tanungin minamahal kong kapatid kay Kristo. Kung naranasan mo ang mga bagay na iyon, sa kabila ba nito ay nabawasan ang pagmamahal mo sa iyong mga magulang? Kung ang isang bata ay pinalo ng kanyang ama, hindi ito nangangahulugan nang pagiging masama o malupit ng isang ama. Bagkus ay ito ay pagtutuwid at paraan ng pagdidisiplina dahil sa pagmamahal ng ama..

Masaya ako at hindi nagsisi na ako’y nakatikim ng hagupit nung ako’y bata pa. Gusto ko lang sana sabihin sa iyo, MAHAL KO ANG AKING TATAY. Hindi man halata dahil hindi ako dumating nung father’s day, ngunit wag mo sana doon sukatin ang pagmamahal.

“Ang Diyos ay hindi tumitingin sa mga bagay na nakikita ng tao. Ang tao ay tumitingin sa panglabas na kaanyuan ngunit ang Diyos ay tumitingin sa ating puso.” – 1Samuel 16:7 (ayan tagalog yan, kasi memorize ko yan.)

At siya nga pala kapatid, kung ako’y iyong tatanungin, ang aking ama ay walang katulad. Masasabi ko na higit pa siya kaysa kanino man. Kung paano ang kanyang pagmamalasakit sa ating iglesia at sa kongregasyong nasasakupan, ay isang daang ulit pa sa pagpapahalaga niya sa aming pamilya.

Marahil noong mabasa mo itong aking gawa ay sobra kang nasiyahan na ikaw ay nakagawa ng interpretasyong hindi tugma at naipagkalat mo pa sa ibang mananampalataya. Marahil ay mayroon lamang bumabagabag sa iyo o kung anu man. Kung babasahin mo ang aking ginawa na iyon ng may mabuting puso at pang-unawa ay marahil makikita mo ang pagmamahal na kalakip nito at hindi ang pagkamuhi.

Kung may nasabi man ang ibang tao tungkol sa aking ama na hindi kanais nais, bakit hindi natin tignan ang ating sarili?

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Matthew 7:3-5

Alam ko na hindi sinasadya ng sinuman magbitaw ng mga salitang nakakasakit ng ibang tao. Tayo’y mga kristiyano at alam natin ang nararpat sa hindi. Ang pagpapakasakit ng mga mnggagawa ng simbahan ay dapat sinusuklian ng kabutihan at hindi ng mga mapanirang salita na nakakasakit ng kalooban.

Hindi ko intensyon ang mang-away o pakikipagtunggalian dahil hindi ako marunong ng ganung bagay. Lumaki ako at pinalaki ng maayos ng aking magulang. Nirerespeto ko ang inyong opinyon at kung may mga nasaktan man sa aking mga lathala ay ako na ang humihingi ng paumanhin. Marahil ay isipin ng sinuman na ang post na ito ay para sa kanya. Sa totoo lang ay wala talaga akong alam at hindi ko din nais malaman. Hindi ko ugali ang magtanim ng sama ng loob. Hindi ko itinataas ang daliri ko kanino man. Iyan ay inyong opinyon at marahil ay batay sa nakikita ng inyong mata. Nirerespeto ko ito dahil un ang nararapat.

Hindi ko ninais na pagmulan ito ng chismisan bagkus, ay ang kapulutan ng magagandang bagay. Kung ikaw ay bitin pa at talaga namang naguumapaw ang iyong kagalakan sa pag-alam ng buhay ng iba at lalu na sa aming buhay, ako ang kausapin mo. Magiging masaya akong kwentuhan ka ng mga bagay bagay. Eto ng aking numero 09068312778. Eto naman ang email ko, lester.pante@gmail.com. Eto address namin #14 Diamond Street, Millionaires’ Village, Novaliches, Q.C. Text mu muna ako bago ka pumunta para maipaghanda kita ng meryenda.

Binalak ko nang tanggalin ang site na ito ngunit kung may dalawa o isa man na hihiling nito ay malugod ko itong gagawin.

Ilang araw mula ngayon ay inaasahan ko na darating ang maraming pagpuna. Hindi ko man kayo kilala ngunit kilala ko ang aking Diyos. Siya ang gagabay sa akin.

Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written: “So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.” - Romans 3:4

a hundred buck deal.

“What’s the use of that laundry shop if there’s me?”

She’s so busy that she can’t do her personal laundry unless I’ll have the initiative to take all the laundry myself. She asked me to  take her clothes in the laundry shop. She had a second look and said, “Why not you do my laundry and I’ll pay you a hundred bucks?” With no second thought and I closed it with a deal.
She, my older sister, is now working for 2 years a CPA and I having my 5th year of college as a retard sophomore. Being a student that is jobless and a dumbass who merely depends on my parents, my sister had more wealth than me. As long as she had breads to bait my labor, I am her slave! LOL!

Among the three of us children in the family, I am favored with lots of house chores and responsibilities by my dad. Do the laundry, wash the dishes, sort those clothes, clean our backyard, buy these outside, etc.

(Picture was taken in our kitchen where mugs are placed. In my deep sentiment while I was washing the dishes.)

I don’t mind doing things for my sister since I’m getting something in return that is worth my efforts. But dad had  LOTS of errands for me that I usually thought not worth doing. Why is it always me? Am I your only child? Is it just me who can do those things?  I always find it unfair. Though I never say no to my dad and I’m a hundred percent sure he heard nothing from me. Just a not so pleasant facial expression I admit doing.  It’s not that I am expecting somethign in return, but a little acknowledgement is a big thing.

But then I’ve realised, it’s more beyond words or expression my dad had done for me and for the two ugly girls I had for siblings. How could I think of such thoughts when he worked hard for us to send to college? I would not have this bulky stomach flab if dad didn’t provide us food to eat. Maybe I had brains so small that I couldn’t see things my dad does for us.

If I would die and given a chance to be reincarnated and live again, I would ask God to reincarnate my father as well and also my sisters and live another life just as what we used to be.

ninety percent are self-inflicted.

Sakka: Alright old woman, it’s my turn for you to read my future.

Fortuneteller: You’ll have countless sufferings and misfortunes.

Sakka: Oh yeah? How would you know, you haven’t seen my palms yet!

Fortuneteller: I don’t have to look at your dirty palms. The way I looked at you is enough. You’ll be mostly into troubles and pain, ninety percent of it will be self-inflicted.

Sakka: I told you guys it was a mistake being here with this old woman.

I got this conversation in an animated series I’ve watched before. Well, it’s just a thought that came into me when I was thinking and thinking about this certain thing boggling me.

She sent a group message that is a quote. Really, there’s nothing special about it. I replied with her name, an exclamation point, and a smiley trying to catch her attention and maybe start a conversation. She replied “hi” with my full name (She enjoys calling me that way since my first name which I didn’t use sounds cheesy) next to it and a smiley.”how are you?” I asked. “I’m good! I’m on my way home from a date. My boyfriend and I dated.” She replied. “Oh ok. I’m sorry. Arrive home safely. Take care.” I replied for the last time. “Ok. Thank you [my first name] hahaha!“

Everything should be fine but what I feel is not. Why on earth am I jealous with her boyfriend? I mean, I’m not in the position to do so and it’s so funny that someone got jealous of a certain subject that is in the first place, not his. Even if i could do something about it, circumstances won’t let me because the fact is, I am but a friend and not a boyfriend.

The reality is no one is responsible of my hurt. It’s not my friend or the guy, it is me. The pain is self-inflicted and is fanned to flame by wrong interpretations of kind friendship she’s giving me. (I admit, I’m putting much of different meanings into it LOL) I knew from the start that she had a boyfriend. That’s why I’ve marked a line of where I should place my foot on and where I should not. But when I’ve seen the two sides that the line divides, a part of me wants to jump on to the other side but my whole self established a limit and would stick to it.

The truth is, I entertained all this emotional chaos in me. I know things from the start and yet, I still want a tip-toe dip of how cold the river will be. We almost had a habit of texting each other every night and chat about things. We also had silly names to call each other, we shared stories and personal matters, and almost everything that bind us together. The whole thing is normal in a friendship but I love giving it other definitions and let my ears clap about it.

I know I am a good friend for her. I know she thought of me as a nice person and a funny guy. I know she value me because I’m not an ordinary friend she had. She cares or me, she thinks of me, she texts me, and ask if I’m doing good, because.. I am her FRIEND. Don’t you think it’s nice to have a friend that you like and give other meanings to things she does for you? LOL!! kidding!

Actually, I’ve broke up with my girlfriend for weeks now. (Not because of her or anyone else) I’ve realized, I need first to be matured enough before I take a 75 unit romantic-relationship-responsibility to add to my academic subjects at school so I can manage it effectively without copromising others. So the whole thing about my friend that I am liking was just an illusion. Illusive of things that even if I had the chance to have, I still won’t and I’ve made a promise to myself to prioritize things first to my family, school, church, and to God most importantly, and least would be my love-life.

It is self-inflicted and It’s me that can help myself to get through this. But I am buried in a sand that felt good to me so I think I’ll gonna stay here for a while enjoying the agony. Besides there’s no one now to seriously got jealous for. Hey! I’ll be missing heartaches and all that lovey-love-love stuffs and emoticuty-chubi feelings a boyfriend-girlfriend had so let me pass on this one. LOL

Self-inflicted it may be, but pain in this level are manageable and easy get over with. It can be painful but I found ways on how I could enjoy it and turn it into something myself could enjoy heartbreak music and relate to it somehow. LOL!!

16 views today? where’d that came from?

That late afternoon nap (that I don’t usually do) had left me more brain boosters to stay awake till now. I got this 16 page views that I dun usually get in a regular basis. Oh well, thank God I still got page views rather than nothing.

Aside from those creepy snail-without-a-shell creatures that lurked our drainage pipes climbing up our sink, (this house had lots of creepy creature history) nothing new happened. I woke up early this day to prepare myself going to church for some assignments that I am part of.  The day’s mood was gloomy with a cool rain breeze that suggests an extension for my sleeping habit. Moments passed and the next thing I knew, It’s raining hard.

I went to the sink to gargle and not a single drop came out. For some reasons, we dun have anything to use to even wash up a bit. “Jimbo, buksan mu nga yung tubig (switch) sa labas para magkatubig.” Said my sister. “Anung tubig? (switch), hindi pinapatay yan. Nakabukas lagi yan.) I replied. From that certain realizations, we’re doomed.

I was grinning at her as if saying, “how are you going to take a bath now my dear stinking sister.” For me it doesn’t  really matter.  She poured  some drinking water to at least wash her face and said that will do for her. Personally, I dun mind leaving our house stinking or having a morning look for others to see. In fact I love them seeing me that way. The thing is I want to feel how cold will it be. I wanted a cool after bath feeling. (and some say, rain water softens hair) XP

I bathe in the rain with a container placed in a mini water-falls our roof gutter produce out of rain water. Weew! I was freezing but loved the feeling. It all went good for me and entered our house after to fix things up.

“San ka kumuha ng tubig?” My sister asked curiously. “Ah.. Naligo ka sa ulan noh?”

“Oo, Ang sarap maligo. Lalu na kapag nalalasahan mu yung tae ng pusa sa tubig na galing sa bubong naten.” confirming her suspicion.

“Yak! Babuy mo!”

Me, grinning!

Actually, I am aware of those thingy I could have when I decide to took bath outside. It’s been raining for days and I thought of those things are washed off during the early rain days. And besides, the water was all clear and if I would die from dehydration, I’ll drink it with no hesitation. Uhmm.. I think if someone dared me to do so, I’d still do it! LOL!!

And to irritate her more, I brushed my teeth with the same water and said, “Ate, tignan mo ko, ipapang-toothbrush ku yung tubig galing sa alulod na may mga nakatambak na tae ng pusa!”

“Babuy!”

repost: get one whole shit.

posted at jimbubog.blogspot.com 7/14/08

A gossip of criticism from professors that is about me has reached my awareness. And with that, It gives me the urge to write things up. After all, it’s been a month since I last blog. Really, as much as I wanted to blog my thoughts, every time I face my PC, laziness always hits me real hard. So I always end up with nothing. But after I heard a gossip about me from a classmate who refused to tell whoever professor it was (but doesn’t really matter whoever it is. I just want to know), I rush on things on how will I blog it given the fact that I am in school and class is ongoing. I got a pen, and draw one yellow paper and you probably know what comes next, I did the orthodox style of blogging which means I literally am writing my thoughts in a yellow paper. Surprisingly, I am starting to like it this way. (It is my NSTP class while I am writing this, and I should pretend that I copy notes and not blogging XD)

A while ago as I chat with a bully classmate/seatmate, he threw some questions regarding some of my previous doings and I think he’s just curious about some things about me. I comply with his questions by sharing something that after I’ve studied two and a half years of college in an activist lurking university at manila, here I am, a demoted freshman in a catholic college as where we are (which I think is another explanation or another blog post). Another classmate happened to listen in our conversation. He commented, “Ah kaya pala.” (His curiosity about “How could you simply answer academical questions without us seeing you study or reviewing?” finally ends.) Then said, “Pero alam mo Lester (my name in my birth certificate), may nagsabi nga na isang prof, matalino ka daw kaya lang ano…”

Whatever “ano” it is, I did get the point and it surely means negative.

At one point, I am bothered. I know I am used hearing such words and even worse, maybe it’s just that it had been a long time since I’ve heard such words again. In the previous college I’m into, I learned not to fear professors, not to be afraid to commit mistakes and errors, don’t mind failing. Though I fail some subjects, I passed most of them and surely have learned a lot.

“Matalino kaya lang ano..”

At present, I go to class late but I don’t intend to. I seldom submit assignments (I laze on it), and would just secretly walk out of the classroom if not in the mood. But also, in class, you’ll see me reciting and outnumbering others by words being recited and thoughts being shared. I stand out in class while everyone else seems lifeless. I get higher grades than any of them. My essays and narrations are very much applauded (while it was just a piece of crap for me). With all of these I think is where the criticism rooted.

I’m an evil trapped in an angels figure nor an angel pretending to be evil or whatever thing it is. I’ve got pair of wings and a halo but in me hides a pair of horns and an ugly tail. Always misconceived. I can be intelligent but I prefer not to be one. I apologize for disappointing people but I live a life that is me. I won’t follow that SVO (Subject Verb Eklaver) format they thought us when putting titles in my journals (I am the boss in my own blog LOL). Even the most non-sense title I’ll insist! As long as I am happy with it.

get your own life LOL!

again again and again.

May 25, 2009 Posted it late for some lame reasons.

Ok ok. Another blogging comeback after months and I’m sick and tired of comeback rants. Lots of stuff pild my head up and I guess a little blogging could help.

I dunno how to put it in an organize manner but I came up doing doing bullets.

• I realized I am now 20 years of existence. Well, it’s not my birthday or something but it is now that I really absorbed the fact that I am now 20. If I’ll follow and track back my supposed years of staying in college, I should be finish and graduated but I’m not. I guess I just grew up late to realize how important my studies were. Though I do good at present, somehow I still felt remorse regarding my early years of time and efforts wasted. A while ago I saw a former classmate. She’s now working on a laboratory that is associated with a known milk product. GAH! How I wish were on the same boat right now. But then, I am happy for her.

 

• I took up summer picnic class. Oh well, 9 units goes like maple leaf flown away by autumn breeze. As I said it was like picnic. I knew it would be since it is summer class and at the beginning I thought of it as a shortcut. And all happened as planned. I have to graduate as soon as possible!

 

•  I plan to get a part-time job this June. I was feeling that I’ll have an evening schedule of class this semester (if not, then I’ll request for an evening one LOL!) so part-time jobs could be possible. The thing is I wanted to be more productive and independent. It’s not like a new year’s resolution or something like that but.. Uhmm… Ok! to be honest, the reason for this is to compensate for this feeling that a moron should now be working and not depending his ass out of his parents! XD

 

• I am the PRO of our church’s national youth organization and I am wondering if my lazy butt deserves the seat. Personally, I aim to be the best PRO this organization ever had but honestly, I dun think I’m making difference. I wanted to be used by God, to serve more, to do my best, and more, more, more! I just wish I could.

 

• YOUTHEO summer camp. We organized a sumer camp and after so many problems and hindrances we had encountered, it all went well. (I could say) For me it was a great one but I myself knowing IF ONLY we do this or that, then it could be much much more effective. All praises to our God who worked in the said event. It’s really Him and not us who made things happen. I saw it myself (though not visually) and I know its Him who worked on us. It made me excited that I wanted to tell everyone about it and it gave me the urge to write something about it here.

 

• A friend got pregnant. We were startled to heard what happened to our friend. She, our friend, the least we expect for her to happen? It’s really something that drops your head down after being heard it. Well, we know her. No fingers should be raised to point out whose right or wrong. What they need is understanding and friends to lean on. My prayers are with them.

 

• I had a crush on this girl. GAAH I hate myself for being like this. They say it is man’s nature to be polygamous or something equivalent. But I think it’s just me who’s different. I had a girlfriend and I love her. But why am I feeling this way! GAAAH!! I don;t think I am normal when it comes to this kind of matter. But after doing some prayers and meditations, readings, I’ve realized it’s not a romantic relationship that I should concentrate myself to. I wanted to break loose and get myself back again. But with where I am right now, I dunno how to start. I dun want to hurt feelings again. No! not at this time.          *breath out* I’m just so bad.

 

• I want my online-living back! Our desktop is not working and I’ve used up all the knowledge about troubleshooting I had but I always end up frustrated. Dad had his laptop pero ang damot! My sister also had hers but she’s not around so I can’t borrow her laptop. GAAAH!!

 

The draft of this blog is written on my notebook. I dun have any computer to type it, how much more an internet to get this uploaded! How pathetic I am.

 

Tatay: Aalis ako pupunta kami ng Baguio mamayang 1am alis namin. Mag-ingat ka dito sa bahay mag-isa ha? Maglinis ka ng bahay, lock mo pinto pag aalis ka, bayaran mo yung telepono, eto pera panggastos mo hanggang biyernes. Biyernes na uwi ko. blah blah blah!

Jimboy: Opo.

Tatay: Mukang madami kang sinusulat ah. Galingan mo pag-aaral mo lalo.

Jimboy: Toinks!?