•April 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

And here I am. Telling myself to post something to make myself feel if not productive, at least doing something that has sense. Uhmm.. Ok! The truth is, I really just wanted to ease this guilt of wasting time staring at people’s useless posts making me dull. So I was thinking of posting something educational, no! Maybe a strange love story? Nah! Oh maybe I can spit some life drama and do a little word play so I may sound a little deep and look intelligent? Nah ah! Not in the mood right now. I think it’s been about a year since we had our last share of this.

There really is a lot going on right now. If a computer’s hard disk sometimes needs defragmentation, I think my mind deserves one too! Ready Mr. Brain, let’s do some sorting, bookkeeping, and a little inventory of what we are now. Let’s rock!!!

** Tomorrow will be the last day of our classroom training at work. No! I didn’t quit my recent job. I still am at the same company where I worked at. They forced us to be re-trained us to do a different Job. To me, it’s still being a slave having a different boss doing different slave responsibility. Still no complains because on the brighter side, they find us cheaper and better manpower, we keep our jobs that skyrocketed US unemployment rate. It’s their money that nourishes the bulges I have all over my body.

** You know what? I got this teenie weenie planner that is suppose to help me keep track on my to-do’s. Well it served it’s purpose but i realized, sheets of papers covered with leather protection wouldn’t change the lazy me. it helped me but really, it still up to the user to follow and religiously look at it everyday.  I guess real busy people needs it and not those stupid bastards who pretends to be. Still i plan to keep it and use it!


** I guess my supernatural metabolism is failing me. Before, even if I eat a whole country, I still keep my shape up! Now, I always have to be aware of what I eat! I think I grew big by just thinking of food! Oh well, good thing there’s this significant someone now who made myself realize why I need to be healthy and stay in shape. Because if it’s just me, hell! I’ll indulge myself and wallow on gluttony and I won’t give a damn! I’ll eat those people alive who gives a shit on people being fat!

**Yeah I’ve mentioned this person. She is actually a friend of mine. A special kind of one. This is the cheesy part of this whole thing and I hate it! If only she’s a roller coaster, you probably just stayed home and watch cartoons as you wouldn’t want to ride on her. She’s tough man! Yeah I like her. Infatuation? Uhmm… Nah! I just passed that phase. This is something different now and man she’s hard! For now I try to maintain what we have for now. Happy? YES! ABOSLUTELY!! I would let go of an arm for her. I think this deserves a separate post. To give a peak on how is like having someone like her, think of Leonidas of the movie 300 when he said; “THIS IS MADNESS!!!”

** I was searching for a cell group to attend on. Not that mitosis or meiosis process of cell division we had on biology classes. It’s a group of people meeting and usually just talking and sharing about Jesus Christ, bible, good works, and stuffs related. Call me a freak, fuck you! LOL Kidding aside, I believe in Jesus Christ and if ever I’ll fell in love with a man, it’ll be Him. Now shut your pie hole, I have a lot of things to still ask for. LOL Oh God I kid a lot, you know my heart. 🙂 Thanks again for everything!

** I was about to sign a 3-month gym membership for tomorrow! Yeah, This is the second time attempting to have a body boost!  This is together with some masculine workmates. I personally am not into these things but I figured out, change is always there.  You know sometimes, I wish we still live the tribal period. Where men are hunters and everyone is always in shape! Well.. I should watch less of those movies

Oh dad brought pizza!!! I wanna stop this and eat! So long suckers!!!


I wanna know

•April 10, 2012 • Leave a Comment

If I had mind-reading power to use just once in my lifetime, I could really use one right now.


Yeah man you’re damn tough but never will I give up on you. 🙂

Gay guy!

•April 6, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The feeling of me being too showy and too bold with my emotion towards the person I love is killing me. It’s like me, being childish or worse, acting like a lady. Yeah! Someone told me that already. But when it comes to being expressive, what really is that matters? Pride? Ego? Being called manly and be hard?

“… Another thing which people do is to hide their feelings in front of person they are missing. You must keep your ego aside and convey your feelings to that person. Life is too short; if you love or you miss someone do let them know. If that person understands you, it would never ruin your relationship.”
After stumbling on an article somewhere, in the end it all boils up me, being what I really am!

And yes you! I missed you, I’ll squeeze every bits of you if I get to see you again.

Open sesame

•April 5, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Being always there for people, giving out everything, showing all the emotions and what you really are, are not that always good. Because it is most likely that people will get used to it, will take you for granted, get fed up and look for something new and leave you with nothing to keep for yourself.

If diamonds grew everywhere, no matter how fine the cuts would be or how beautiful it appears, it will be worthless.

A letter to self.

•April 1, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Hey Dude,

Buddy! It’s been a long time since I got a word from you. You know I’ve been idle for quite some time and I didn’t get the chance to get out recently. I’ve heard you’re into someone right now. Yeah! I saw her. She’s one pretty chick you got there. The moment I got control of us this morning, I went to our phone to check the inbox and man, her name is all over the place. On our online inbox page, you had quite a lot of conversation. I can’t read back all of them and dude, im not sure what happened but you suck bigtime! That proved me you can’t go on without me. We do better than that before. We hook up just this fast without all those cheesyness aside. What happen?

Oh well you seem changed a lot. I bet when that woman dumped you or ditched you out for someone, all your delusions will fade just like a camel lost on a dessert. You’ll be knocked flat on the floor realizing there’s no such thing. No one will take us seriously, it’s just all about us! We dun depend ourselves to people and it’s us who make our life, our future, and success.

I’ll let you take over for a while now. I’m just not sure if I can go out and write something soon. It’s just hard to get over you now for some reasons. Just be good man! Do whatever makes you feel good whatever that be. Oh well whatever! Just dun kill yourself if things happen not the way you want it to be. Remember it’s not just you, there’s also me in you. You’ve been warned my little friend.  So long sucker!

– Your other self


That woman will be up anytime and most probably you’ll take over. Write me something if you have time. Man! I dun wanna stalk all over just to know what’s happening! Boooyaaah!!!

My prostate screams pain.

•March 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

…because every time I go out and see great things, It’s you whom I could think of sharing them with.

I miss the real you…

ah uhm!

•March 10, 2012 • Leave a Comment

If you’d look at my drafts, there’s tons of entries that were made just prior to this post. I can’t think of how or what words to put to express but I just wanted to vent out. If this is only something that I can vomit, I already did long ago.

To put it all in one word, it’s about UNCERTAINTY!

Uncertainty of everything that surrounds me at the moment and I mean it when I say EVERYTHING. It always makes me sick and my suicidal tendencies work like a thermometer tongued by a child with a typhoid fever. I chose to extend my sleep hours so I could have more time being unaware, uninvolve, unsolicited, non existent, dead.

I wanna save myself from heartaches, disappointments, regrets, false hopes, and sorrows that yet to come. Few minutes from now, I’ll hit my casket and sleep it all out!



Hey God I know you have plans for me. Im sorry for ranting so much but I’m on my low point of this cycle. I know You’ll understand if I am like these at times, I still am human and I had these at times. I know you’re just busy boiling up something for me and still I cling to You!     Oh and I also pray for this young lady. You know who she is. I know you still are prepping something for her as well and it’s much much more bigger than what we expect. Let your will be done and I pray that it’s something where she’ll be really happy.           Uhm.. if it’s taking you time getting it done for her sooner then just put her paper on top of mine so you can finish her’s first.